What if … what if life, even „my life“, was not about me? Not about what I do, what I find important, my cozy this-is-what-I-am-used-to-Bubble, or my ambitious this-is-who-I-should-be-if-only-I-work-a-little-harder …
Real life is radically different. There is somebody knocking on my heart’s door (and yours as well!), waiting to enter in. Not just a nice visitor, mind you. He is offering an all-or-nothing deal. His life – or my life. His will – or my will. But the way he talks, the way he asks me questions, I somehow realize that he actually knows what is going on in my heart – and wouldn’t comdemn me, ever. He is kind, patient, and somehow sometimes it feels like he loves me more than anybody else did – even more than I love myself. Can this be true? If it is true, what has to change? Or rather, what will remain? I don’t know.
Some say, Christianity is about getting answers, the right answers. My hunch is, if my main focus is to get the right answers, I will miss the most important bits of life. I mean, I am a researcher by heart and want to understand everything I can. And now that I am following Jesus, I would love to understand what he will do with my life and how to get there. Instead, I only hold a handful of puzzle pieces that don’t even go together. Oh, they are beautiful! But … what is the bigger picture???
Somehow, love is more about trusting somebody than understanding something. And how do you learn to trust? Well, when Love asks you out (and it will!), just say Yes. Every day.
Sounds scary, like giving up control? Exactly.
– So in the end you made the decision you’re talking about?
– I did. Those fishermen took a similar step into the unknown 2000 years ago. They got called. They went. Fishing for men, becoming a shadow doctor – we hear the words, or we read them like I did, but we’re not usually allowed to have a significant grasp of what we’re signing up for. We get called, and if that call comes from someone we want to be with – well, there’s just one question. Will we be wise – or foolish – enough to go? It begins with relationship. Always did. Always will. Who can tell where it will end? The good news is the same as the bad news. Once you’ve said yes, that’s no longer your business.
(Adrian Plass, The Shadow Doctor Vol. 2, p. 110f)
(I love that novel. Thank you so much, Adrian Plass, for spelling out how messy yet rewarding it is to follow Jesus. This book should be required reading for any counselor or Christian that really wants to impact other people’s life. I want to become a shadow doctor as well!)
(Photo by Martin Jernberg on Unsplash)